Mom Said Yes

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Mom, I am probably too hard on you. I might want to blame you for staying married to dad, or judge you for this or that, but when it comes down to it, you’re pretty amazing. You’ve lived a difficult life. When I think about what you have lived with, you have spent your entire life surrounded by illness. You told me that you cared for your mother when she had breast cancer. You were just a kid yourself. Then there was me. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have a child diagnosed with such a devastating disease at such a young age. Dad wasn’t well most of my life either. When he was so sick at the end of his life, you were already divorced from him and you were the one that was there when he died. I know you did it for us because we couldn’t be there. You did it because it was the right thing to do and that is often your guide.

I could say cliche things like, You’re always there when I need you and while that would be true it just isn’t enough. I realized it the other day when I showed up unannounced at your small apartment asking to take a shower. Water was pouring out of the pipes at my house. We had to call an emergency plumber that charged us $250 an hour. To fix our house that is already sold. We are moving out of it in 3 weeks. I showed up unannounced and you just said yes. You made me feel better. I could feel the tension in my body and I know that it showed on my face and I said to you, “I am so upset.” And you said, “No you are wor-rdy.” Even that is funny. You were perfectly mimicking the Greek accent of your own mother, my Yiayia. She would say that. And now you say that to me. No matter what terrible problem I bring to you and I tell you all the horrible things that are happening to me, you can always think of a silver lining. You always tell me it will be ok. I tease you about it and say, “You could see the bright side of a plague,” quoting my favorite movie Mixed Nuts.It’s completely true. YOU could. You can always see the good in people and you always find the good in any situation, even though sometimes it drives me nuts. You truly have a good heart. Thats one of the best parts about you.

And you’re funny. Thank God I got your sense of humor.

You showed up again. For the plumber on Monday and again on Wednesday because that plumber made a mistake and he had to come back later that day because the furnace was being inspected. You really are there whenever I need you. I am so glad I have you.

I feel like you don’t appreciate these things about yourself. Sometimes you can only see what you don’t have, not what you do. These small things are your gifts.

No story about you could be complete without the silver suit story:

I was five. We were baking Christmas cookies and you had put on your Disco Christmas album. I had studied the cover of that album and was fascinated by the beautiful woman on the front who wore a silver leotard, high heels and gripped a huge candy cane. While the cookies were in the oven you encouraged me to join you in the living room to dance. Then I got a fabulous idea. I decided in all of my 5-year-old wisdom that we should choreograph our dance, buy matching silver leotards, like the woman on the cover of the album, and jump out of a giant box wrapped as a present for all of our relatives on Christmas Eve. Some mothers might have said, “No that’s silly, forget about it. We can’t do that.” But you didn’t. You said, “Yes!”

I am currently working my dream job at a huge company as a Marketing Copywriter. It makes me so happy that I can truly say that I love my job. The title of our department is ‘Creative’ and we are referred to as ‘Creatives.’ I credit you with nurturing and encouraging my creativity. Thank you Mom, thank you for all that you have done.

Love,

January

 


 

 

 

The month of May is dedicated to our moms and the straight spouse perspective. You can read all of our posts for this month HERE.

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