Dear Dad – We’ve Come A Long Way

+ACY-nbsp+ADs +ACY-nbsp+ADs +ACY-nbsp+ADs +ACY-nbsp+ADs Dear Dad - I remember our first Pride celebration together in Sweden eight years ago. You mentioned that you never thought you would see something like this in your lifetime as we watched the nearly 50,000 rainbow people march and dance through the … [Read more...]

Dear Dad, The grandkids are alright

So, Dad, your great-granddaughter told me a story. That little girl who went to you so easily when she was only a year old, is all grown up and she's lovely. She graduated from college and works professionally in DC now. You'd be so proud of her, and of her younger sister, too. She and the … [Read more...]

Dear Dad

Dear Dad, I hope this Father's Day you feel free to be happy. You are retired and your hardest days, I believe, are behind you. You live in LA and get to see famous people all the time. Your favorite thing in the world+ACE You get to live close to me and to Axel, your grandbaby. You have overcome so … [Read more...]

Love you, Ma

The day I discovered my dad was gay came after a conversation I had with him in which I asked why he didn't have a girlfriend. He said something about that +ACI-not fitting his lifestyle+ACI then dropped me off at home without discussing it further. Those weren't buzz words in the mid-1970's, and while I … [Read more...]

Mom Said Yes

Mom, I am probably too hard on you. I might want to blame you for staying married to dad, or judge you for this or that, but when it comes down to it, you're pretty amazing. You've lived a difficult life. When I think about what you have lived with, you have spent your entire life surrounded by … [Read more...]

I wanted you to have a father

My mother had known for decades that Dad was gay. He told me so in 1975 when he came out to me. It would be another decade before I had the nerve to ask Mom why she stayed. She was someone who shied away from difficult questions. But at a family gathering sometime in the 1990s, I found the … [Read more...]

Happy Mother’s Day, Mrs. Bechdel

Days and days and days That's how it happens Days and days and days Made of lunches And car rides And shirts and socks And grades And piano And no one clocks the day you disappear. Days and days and days That's how it happens Days and days and days Made of posing And … [Read more...]

Mama

My mama was born in a tiny town in West Virginia. So tiny and insignificant I've never put its name to memory. Her mom, my grandma Bittenger, was a verbally abusive and hateful person. She told my mother her entire life she was ugly and worthless. My mom could not wait to move away from home. At … [Read more...]

A healing dance

Mom and Dad dancing. Yes, dancing. That's where my healing happened. September 22, 2007, Eduardo and I's wedding day. One of the happiest and most nerve wracking days of my life. Here we were at our reception, basking in the afterglow that we had made it through our ceremony, our first dance, … [Read more...]

My last big question of Dad

Mom had been gone for two years. We lost my little sister in 1979. My remaining siblings were out of town. Today it was just Dad and me. It was June, 2008. He'd turned 90 that March. Even though I was by then middle-aged, and had long known my father was gay, I still clung to a childhood … [Read more...]