My last big question of Dad

Mom had been gone for two years. We lost my little sister in 1979. My remaining siblings were out of town. Today it was just Dad and me. It was June, 2008. He'd turned 90 that March. Even though I was by then middle-aged, and had long known my father was gay, I still clung to a childhood … [Read more...]

A Hallmark Moment

From the time I was an adolescent, buying a Father's Day card for my dad was always challenging. Rows upon rows of greetings depicting fishing poles, cars, and remote controls pointed at football games didn't represent my dad at all. Neither did flowery messages about how much he means to me and … [Read more...]

Progress Is In the Details

Something happened during the commercial break, as people were touching up my makeup and tugging on my clothes. Someone said, bring her dad up here at what felt like the same time as someone else pulled my dad from the audience and brought him backstage. He was already mic-ed, because he was going … [Read more...]

Laughter

When I started doing standup I had not planned on telling any jokes about my father. Prior to that experience I had a long history of being a comedic actress and writer, but I never used my personal life as material. I thought it was exploitive. I've never been a fan of reality-based … [Read more...]

The Glass Closet

When I think of closets, I think of them as dark hiding places. I think of isolation. I think of lacking air. I am not gay, so I don't know what the closet is like for my father who is. I can only tell you what it's like to see his coming out, a process that to this day is incomplete. It is a … [Read more...]

I Too Had A Closet

I officially entered my closet around my 13th birthday. Unknowingly I probably entered even earlier. I saw signs and clues that my dad was different, that my family make up was breaking societal and religious rules. It was then that I began to understand what was unacceptable to others. I understood … [Read more...]

The View from the Closet

My father had just come out to me when this photo was taken. It was the summer of 1975 and I was a 24-year-old mother in an unhappy marriage. I can see a mix of emotions on my face. Confusion, probably. Stunned? Definitely. And an effort to smile. This would be my face to the world for decades, … [Read more...]

Closet Contents

When you hear the phrase +ACI-coming out of the closet+ACI you probably do not immediately think of the significance of the word +ACI-closet.+ACI We all know what a closet is. It is the space we hang up clothes, the space as kids we threw everything into when mom said +ACI-You're not going anywhere until you clean … [Read more...]

What Is Your Closet?

Our writing topic this month is 'the closet.' The past few weeks, in the back of my mind, I've been pondering what the closet means to me, how having to be closeted has shaped me, and even what other people's closets look like. Then, last Wednesday, I went to my first Elton John concert. It was … [Read more...]

In Or Out of The Closet

My dad came out of the closet in the early '70's. He was just over 30 years old. It was a gradual process and not one in which he just flung open the door and shouted, +ACI-Ta-da+ACE I'm gay+ACEAIg His coming out was one that happened in stages, beginning with Mom who was appalled, confused and devastated, then … [Read more...]