For Me, There is No Question

+ACY-nbsp+ADs Recently a closeted man said to me, +ACI-It would have been better for you if your father had never came out to you.+ACI I've had a lot of interesting or ignorant or hurtful things said to me in relation to the fact that my father was gay, but none of them made my whole body burn and want to … [Read more...]

January: I Envy The Honesty

Do you wish your dad had come out to you? +ACY-nbsp+ADs This has been a question I've heard more than once and I'm not really sure what the answer should be. +ACY-nbsp+ADs My father has been gone for nearly 20 years. Although I was aware he was gay, we never got the chance to talk about any of this. … [Read more...]

Finding the Path

+ACI-Do you wish your dad had come out to you sooner?+ACI It's a question I have been asked often and a question I have been pondering more lately as I piece together interviews from my family. The question feels a little like a dance with the devil. A dance that leads to a deep dark rabbit hole, but I … [Read more...]

I Would Rather Know

Should I tell my children? That is a question I have been asked by a number of gay men over the years who are closeted in straight marriages in repressive cultures and do not plan on leaving their wives. The conversations go something like this: What if my children find out from someone else, … [Read more...]

Hey Dad, Happy Pride

Hey Dad, It was Father's Day last week, and Mark and I were in France after a couple weeks in Italy. I thought of you while I walked along the French Riviera in search of some shade, thinking you would appreciate the beauty for about five minutes then complain of the heat and look for an air … [Read more...]

Dear Dad – We’ve Come A Long Way

+ACY-nbsp+ADs +ACY-nbsp+ADs +ACY-nbsp+ADs +ACY-nbsp+ADs Dear Dad - I remember our first Pride celebration together in Sweden eight years ago. You mentioned that you never thought you would see something like this in your lifetime as we watched the nearly 50,000 rainbow people march and dance through the … [Read more...]

Dear Dad, The grandkids are alright

So, Dad, your great-granddaughter told me a story. That little girl who went to you so easily when she was only a year old, is all grown up and she's lovely. She graduated from college and works professionally in DC now. You'd be so proud of her, and of her younger sister, too. She and the … [Read more...]

Dear Dad

Dear Dad, I hope this Father's Day you feel free to be happy. You are retired and your hardest days, I believe, are behind you. You live in LA and get to see famous people all the time. Your favorite thing in the world+ACE You get to live close to me and to Axel, your grandbaby. You have overcome so … [Read more...]

Love you, Ma

The day I discovered my dad was gay came after a conversation I had with him in which I asked why he didn't have a girlfriend. He said something about that +ACI-not fitting his lifestyle+ACI then dropped me off at home without discussing it further. Those weren't buzz words in the mid-1970's, and while I … [Read more...]

Mom Said Yes

Mom, I am probably too hard on you. I might want to blame you for staying married to dad, or judge you for this or that, but when it comes down to it, you're pretty amazing. You've lived a difficult life. When I think about what you have lived with, you have spent your entire life surrounded by … [Read more...]