Long Without a Tribe

+ACY-nbsp+ADs There must be others like me. Where are they? It took me more than three decades to even ask this question. The journey began on Father's Day, 1975, when I asked my dad if had ever been unfaithful to Mom. He'd always been a shameless flirter. I was 24. He stunned me by … [Read more...]

Finding My Tribe

It was a drizzly, cold day when I sat across the table from Laura Hall for the first time. Her sweet smile and welcoming nature did little to take the chill out of the drafty restaurant we occupied for more than three hours, but our hearts were warm and filled with the kind of kindred spirit that … [Read more...]

Dear Laura, Nothing’s Wrong With You

Dear 17-year-old Laura, I know you're having a hard time right now. What's worse, you don't understand why. After all, you're getting good grades at school. You've been accepted at UC Santa Barbara for next fall. You're kind of cute. Boys are interested in you. You're interested in … [Read more...]

True Gay Pride

Gay pride hasn't been acknowledged, let alone celebrated, in my family. Coming from the Midwestern suburbs of Chicago, my dad being gay was a secret, not something to be proud of. Before I moved to San Francisco in 1982, I encountered very few gay people in my daily life. I worked with a young … [Read more...]

Meeting Dad’s Boyfriend

The 30-something me in this photo smiled for my mother. Yet underneath that smile was an anxious young woman carrying her father's deep secret. Dad, then in his late 60s, had come out to me ten years earlier. I'd pushed him to admit he'd been unfaithful to my mother, with other women I … [Read more...]