Long Without a Tribe

+ACY-nbsp+ADs There must be others like me. Where are they? It took me more than three decades to even ask this question. The journey began on Father's Day, 1975, when I asked my dad if had ever been unfaithful to Mom. He'd always been a shameless flirter. I was 24. He stunned me by … [Read more...]

I Will Be Your Family

Our topic this month is family. Before the election, I'd have written about my family of origin, friends from childhood, and supportive tribes of like-minded souls. Not today, though. The election has triggered too many feelings in me. I see the world through that filter right now. Bigotry in … [Read more...]

We Are Family

There is the family we are born to, and there is the family that we make+ADs in my case, I have always felt more comfortable with the latter. My Midwest suburban upbringing dictated that we stay close by, and maybe someday, raise our own families near our parents. But it never felt like home. The lure … [Read more...]

Dear Laura, Nothing’s Wrong With You

Dear 17-year-old Laura, I know you're having a hard time right now. What's worse, you don't understand why. After all, you're getting good grades at school. You've been accepted at UC Santa Barbara for next fall. You're kind of cute. Boys are interested in you. You're interested in … [Read more...]

Dear Lisa, Dad Does Love You

+ACY-nbsp+ADs Dear Lisa, What a tumultuous time you are having in this, the 18th year of your life. You have so much passion in you, and so much rage, which you will come to learn in time is simply fear. Those days when you were little in the house on Elder Lane felt so warm and cozy. You were … [Read more...]