For Me, There is No Question

+ACY-nbsp+ADs Recently a closeted man said to me, +ACI-It would have been better for you if your father had never came out to you.+ACI I've had a lot of interesting or ignorant or hurtful things said to me in relation to the fact that my father was gay, but none of them made my whole body burn and want to … [Read more...]

Finding the Path

+ACI-Do you wish your dad had come out to you sooner?+ACI It's a question I have been asked often and a question I have been pondering more lately as I piece together interviews from my family. The question feels a little like a dance with the devil. A dance that leads to a deep dark rabbit hole, but I … [Read more...]

I Would Rather Know

Should I tell my children? That is a question I have been asked by a number of gay men over the years who are closeted in straight marriages in repressive cultures and do not plan on leaving their wives. The conversations go something like this: What if my children find out from someone else, … [Read more...]

Love you, Ma

The day I discovered my dad was gay came after a conversation I had with him in which I asked why he didn't have a girlfriend. He said something about that +ACI-not fitting his lifestyle+ACI then dropped me off at home without discussing it further. Those weren't buzz words in the mid-1970's, and while I … [Read more...]

The Glass Closet

When I think of closets, I think of them as dark hiding places. I think of isolation. I think of lacking air. I am not gay, so I don't know what the closet is like for my father who is. I can only tell you what it's like to see his coming out, a process that to this day is incomplete. It is a … [Read more...]