Long Without a Tribe

+ACY-nbsp+ADs There must be others like me. Where are they? It took me more than three decades to even ask this question. The journey began on Father's Day, 1975, when I asked my dad if had ever been unfaithful to Mom. He'd always been a shameless flirter. I was 24. He stunned me by … [Read more...]

Dear Laura, Nothing’s Wrong With You

Dear 17-year-old Laura, I know you're having a hard time right now. What's worse, you don't understand why. After all, you're getting good grades at school. You've been accepted at UC Santa Barbara for next fall. You're kind of cute. Boys are interested in you. You're interested in … [Read more...]

#icangive: Transmitting my Family’s Experience

Times feel scary for many of us right now. Terrorism, violence, hate crimes, all amplified through their real-time dissemination on social media, keep us on edge. What can we do? For LGBT people who've lived with targets on their backs, times have generally felt scary. The slaying of 49 … [Read more...]

Parenting from the closet

When I picked up the phone that evening, I didn't hear??my father???s normally measured voice. Instead, it was loud and animated. +ACI-What is it, Dad???? The year was 1985. I hoped Jody, my 15-year-old daughter, was okay. She was spending a few weeks with her grandparents on the San Francisco … [Read more...]

My Dad, the Fish, and Me.

Dad and I are poised in front of the wood paneling that covers the wall from our living room to the kitchen in the two-bedroom home our family of three shares. I think it's February, which means I am about 6 months old. All of the rooms in our tiny home seem to run together ??? from front to back. … [Read more...]