My last big question of Dad

Mom had been gone for two years. We lost my little sister in 1979. My remaining siblings were out of town. Today it was just Dad and me. It was June, 2008. He'd turned 90 that March. Even though I was by then middle-aged, and had long known my father was gay, I still clung to a childhood … [Read more...]

A Hallmark Moment

From the time I was an adolescent, buying a Father's Day card for my dad was always challenging. Rows upon rows of greetings depicting fishing poles, cars, and remote controls pointed at football games didn't represent my dad at all. Neither did flowery messages about how much he means to me and … [Read more...]

Laughter

When I started doing standup I had not planned on telling any jokes about my father. Prior to that experience I had a long history of being a comedic actress and writer, but I never used my personal life as material. I thought it was exploitive. I've never been a fan of reality-based … [Read more...]

The Glass Closet

When I think of closets, I think of them as dark hiding places. I think of isolation. I think of lacking air. I am not gay, so I don't know what the closet is like for my father who is. I can only tell you what it's like to see his coming out, a process that to this day is incomplete. It is a … [Read more...]

The View from the Closet

My father had just come out to me when this photo was taken. It was the summer of 1975 and I was a 24-year-old mother in an unhappy marriage. I can see a mix of emotions on my face. Confusion, probably. Stunned? Definitely. And an effort to smile. This would be my face to the world for decades, … [Read more...]