Finding the Path

+ACI-Do you wish your dad had come out to you sooner?+ACI It's a question I have been asked often and a question I have been pondering more lately as I piece together interviews from my family. The question feels a little like a dance with the devil. A dance that leads to a deep dark rabbit hole, but I … [Read more...]

I Would Rather Know

Should I tell my children? That is a question I have been asked by a number of gay men over the years who are closeted in straight marriages in repressive cultures and do not plan on leaving their wives. The conversations go something like this: What if my children find out from someone else, … [Read more...]

I wanted you to have a father

My mother had known for decades that Dad was gay. He told me so in 1975 when he came out to me. It would be another decade before I had the nerve to ask Mom why she stayed. She was someone who shied away from difficult questions. But at a family gathering sometime in the 1990s, I found the … [Read more...]

A Hallmark Moment

From the time I was an adolescent, buying a Father's Day card for my dad was always challenging. Rows upon rows of greetings depicting fishing poles, cars, and remote controls pointed at football games didn't represent my dad at all. Neither did flowery messages about how much he means to me and … [Read more...]

Why I Write Now

When I was 12 years old, my schoolteacher suggested I enter a writing competition. It was sponsored by the local branch of the American Legion. The prize was a +ACQ-25 gift certificate, for Woolworth's, I think. Academic achievement was a big deal in my family, especially for my father who doled … [Read more...]