I Would Rather Know

Should I tell my children? That is a question I have been asked by a number of gay men over the years who are closeted in straight marriages in repressive cultures and do not plan on leaving their wives. The conversations go something like this: What if my children find out from someone else, … [Read more...]

Love you, Ma

The day I discovered my dad was gay came after a conversation I had with him in which I asked why he didn't have a girlfriend. He said something about that +ACI-not fitting his lifestyle+ACI then dropped me off at home without discussing it further. Those weren't buzz words in the mid-1970's, and while I … [Read more...]

The Glass Closet

When I think of closets, I think of them as dark hiding places. I think of isolation. I think of lacking air. I am not gay, so I don't know what the closet is like for my father who is. I can only tell you what it's like to see his coming out, a process that to this day is incomplete. It is a … [Read more...]

Why I Write . . .

I must have been about 11 or 12 when I started writing in a diary. Each page was gilded with gold edges and a tiny lock secured the tab that wrapped around them, creating a private sanctuary for my deepest thoughts. Dear Diary, I would write in my large loopy script, and I'd be off and running about … [Read more...]

Sisters From Other Gay Misters

I want to say meeting another person with a gay dad is like looking into a mirror, but even in a mirror I cannot properly see myself. It???s more like finding out your father has this other family and now you???re meeting relatives you did not know you had. You are different people with different … [Read more...]